Can You Really Have it All ?

Tiemo Entertainments

How Society Suffers Whilst Women are out working

The Death of Sisterhood & how feminism destroyed the family

Professor Wolf, Kings College London. Prospects Magazine, April 2006

Can You Really Have it All Debate - 31 March 2006

Tiemo

"I thank you for the above debate. The session provided a valuable forum for exchange of views and opinions. In the end there appeared to be too much to discuss and not enough time to do it in. As a matter of fact it is a debate and topic which can run and run for ever. My difficulty with all that went on is that an American and Eurocentric perspective tended to cloud the fact that in many parts of the world the majority of womankind has little choice than to get on with it all.

Well done for putting the event together, I appreciated the opportunity to participate."

J Emanuwa, London

“I don't think you can have it all. Sometimes I think there is a lot to be said for the 1950's. At least men and women knew their roles in the family. Now it just seems us women have to do even more. We put immense pressure on ourselves to look good, have a great career, be the best mum, have a perfect house, the list is endless.”

Natasha Donovan (pictured above) 16 March 2006

Yes You Can Have it All

“Yes you can, but it comes at a price.”

Annette Hinds, Head of Family Law, Venters. 28 March 2006

Strong opposition to Professor Alison Wolf's article

"Regarding the debate, I feel it is not one that would sustain my current normal blood pressure ! The only group of people who have 'destroyed the family unit' are black men who get black women pregnant, abandon them, neglect their responsibilities and run off for an easy life with a white woman. (Yes, I have over simplified this, but this is an example of a trend that may not be happening as much in London, but travel a little
further north and...).

I don't see many professional, educated black women (a lot of them achieving this level in spite of some having to raise children single-handedly) abandoning their children and destroying a family unit ?"

AR, Birmingham. 28 March 2006

"I often wonder if career women have become demonised. An assertive woman in the workplace is often seen as a bitch (even by other women), a man saying a similar thing to the woman is often seen as a veritable winston churchill. For me the debate about women in the workplace extends far beyond the workplace. It's a matter of treatment of women in society in general."

Juliet Meyers, Debate Host. 30 March 2006

"Times change, we are in the 21st century, we see more fathers staying at home to look after kids, women get children at an older age ...." Patricia, London. 28 March 2006

Oh No You Can't Have it All

Dr Pam Spurr

Dr Spurr recounts how as a University student in 1980 she became pregnant and went through all the soul searching and dilemma’s re her predicament. She belonged to the generation of women who believed they could whatever they want with their lives, “be it have a baby as a single mum, finish my degree, get a career and even choose never to marry. It was up to me and me alone. The message that I could ‘have it all came from all walks of life.’

“How little did I know. After 17 years as an Agony Aunt, I cant recall all the many women I advised to do the same in similar circumstances …. But I got my first wake up call a few years ago – when reading the latest statistics re the break-up of the family unit. … broken families, children ignored or misbehaving, relationships ending before have really begun.

…. Now when I look back at the decisions I made I can see just how selfish I was. Selfish, because there’s nothing more important if you’re going to be a parent than being able to love and raise your child in a safe and giving environment. Putting career and personal desires first is hardly ‘giving’, and you cannot underestimate the importance of having 2 parents around them.

… “Having children needs to be given far more thought. Never, for a minute, did I consider the needs of my child or his right to be brought up in a stable family unit.

… Lack of male involvement is what makes single motherhood so damaging. You only have to read the stats totting up the numberof children with emotional and behavioural problems to see that – stats that reflect the loss of structure in so many childrens lives.

I now view marriage as one of the most important steps men and women can consider.

In my mind too many feminists ignored the real issue – that children, not women should come first. 46% of children born to un-married mothers … more unhappiness and mental health problems amongst children.

Women can’t do exactly what they want if they want their child to be happy. Single motherhood should not be a badge of honour and at the very least it is not to be entered into lightly.”

Abridged version of Dr Spurr's Daily Mail article. 8 March 2006

A Career and Babies : Can you have it all ?

Yahoo 18 March 2006

Can You Really Have it All - 31 March 2006. Toynbee Hall.

Are educated, professional women responsible for the death of sisterhood and the family unit ? Professor Wolf & Dr Spurr argue that that they are.

Panellists :

Juliet Meyers - Chair and Writer.

Mia Morris - Mia has a wide experience of working directly with the unemployed and those on low income in the Voluntary, Private and Public Sector. Her skills relate to Regeneration, Training, Community Outreach and Development. She also provides commentary on women and race issues for the press and runs the International Womens Month website as well as the Well Placed Consultancy.

Diana Wright - Public Speaker and trainer.

Natasha Donovan - Commedienne, Radio Presenter, Employee, Mother and star of forthcoming BBC documentary on parenting.